I know where that came out of...

despite the shitty weather, and unbelievable news- this weekend was... refreshing.

i feel like there are no strangers in my life anymore, this myspace thing is getting pretty ridiculous.

hey... are you 'Renee...from myspace?'

let's go back in time, where life didn't revolve around a god damn website.
it's a love/hate thing, really.

i had a bad case of verbal diarrhea tonight... 'um, i'll talk to you soon.' she says. with a teddy bunny in hand, i couldn't come up with my usual clever and flirtatious sayings.

mini-crushing. and i think i was caught red handed.

i purchased 'ruby' this weekend. she's as red as the dollar bin lipstick i wear on those lust-filled nights.
we will have wonderful adventures together. until someone takes her away from me. again.

there is a permanent smile as i pedal my way to work. if i should even call it that. it's more of an honor...
and the show! oh how excited i am about the show!... an amazing summer lies ahead.

a moment of laughter, disbelief and tears brought me to the conclusion that... my unborn children won't be as hilarious as i'd thought they'd be.

and there's nothing i can do about that. c'est la vie.

blue

the joy of relationships and the idea of love are far away in thought at this moment in my life.
it's a selfish semester, for several reasons. some remain unsaid... but i've just chosen to block off all things that could potentially be hurtful.

tonight, on my way home from the birthday, walking the quiet side streets alone... i thought about the joys of love. i pictured someone beside me. we were holding hands, laughing, singing some bowie, stopping to kiss...

it was all a mirage.
maybe it's this awfully nice weather.
spring time makes me want to fornicate, baby.

i guess i really do miss having a partner in crime, someone to press buttons and fetch ice cream with.
but i'll never admit that.

quack?

...before I go ahead and delete my very old tripod account, where my quackers part one website lies... i'll repost the link (for your viewing pleasure) for one week. and one week only. that's how long it'll take me to archive everything... all those useless ramblings. i dug it up today.

2002-2004.

i like to keep the things i've written and the things that have been written to me. i have binders of all the important/shocking/rediculous emails I have sent/received and all the letters from grade school. this is for a purpose, one day. my life, will be documented.

from the time my wisdom teeth were pulled out-
to the numerous linear emo poems.
i'll have had made my mark somehow.
i think we all strive for that.

http://www.members.tripod.com/ducksterz_0069 there it is.

in other news...
only 24 hours.

mom, dad, this is renee....

We've all googled ourselves... Heck, I have probably googled you a few times. But for some reason, it never occured to me to google through the images section. Today, on my search for an image of someone whom I was told might be of ressemblance, I decided I'd continue doing just that. Searching for images of names I know. People I've heard of. This will be an all day adventure.

It's fun to see your name in writing. But it's hilarious to see what comes up through pictures.

On my first search- this is what came up for 'renee summerfield'.



oh boy. doing promotional work for fear fest really had it's advantages. i'll keep you posted all day as this is most likely my last day in the dungeon. i'm convincing myself more and more not to come in tomorrow. i don't owe this company anything.

i'm going to hell.

tonight-
baby was more curious than he'll ever be.
higher than a tree.
up a lamp post, impossible it seemed.
people stood, dazzled on the street,
cardboard boxes, blankets at its feet.
jump! jump!
we thought,
and chanted.
where's bullwinkle?
the hippees crafted.
ctv,
firetrucks,
two cop cars,
no luck.
baby wasn't budging.
no word of a lie,
he'll be up there
laughing down on us.
until he falls asleep
and dies.

i quit! i quit! i quit!

Monday, April 17, 2006

CitiFinancial Retail Services
ADDRESS
POSTAL CODE

Dear lifers,

I do not regret to inform you, that as of April 21st, 2006 I will no longer be your source of entertainment. I have been offered employment in a field that is more likely suited for me. Besides, I never did set the 'citi' example. I have dreams and aspire to do something productive with my life. During my time with Citifinancial, I have learned to procrastinate while surfing the internet, take multiple bathroom breaks and spoil productivity by gossiping through long, pointless chit chats. Thanks for letting me call long distance, use my work email for auditions and applications to other prospects and sleep on the repossesed leather couch. I will not miss your vending machine packed lunch room, your Tim Hortons runs, your pot lucks or your monthly reviews. I wish you more grey hairs.

Peace.

Renee. Out.

cyril sneer.

remember this guy?

yes.

it will be mine. even if i have to sacrifice another day off.

i just want to punch you in the face. i want to see you, for one last time...so that I can take a good look at how much of a coward you are, then kick you in the balls you don't have.

you make me so angry.

the 196th post.

what an absolute great weekend. wish it was still here. sitting on the patio brings out the best in me on a sunny day. hoping for a change soon... i want to be unstabble and happy...and a bicyclette.


daddy?

again. again. again.

i stood with hands behind my back
one knee plié'd-
dangling, blushing,
i couldn't look in your eyes.
i'd laugh-
look at us-
pretending we're just friends...

no matter where we are,
what year it is-
your imitation of my laugh,
always comes back.

don't fool me.
we're not so innocent anymore.