sweaty palms...

I've been so occupied going back and forth with phone calls, faxes, follow-ups, interviews... an exciting career opportunity has come up.

This game of tag, makes me confident one day, doubtful the next.
...& they loved me.

With everyone's fingers and toes crossed, all I can do is wait.

Yet, how painstakingly hard it is to sit still.

I want to be a music police. Hear me roar!

woo woo woo.

twenty-three is what i'll be.

in celebration of me,
let's karaoke.

saturday!

a tease of Chicago!

tune in soon for an online view of the entire trip...

lay low.

you've been on my mind
at times
where you've disappeared the most.
in my memory again,
like a burglar of the heart,
luring me in,
involuntarily
because you're near,
trying to be a friend.
but who do I kid?
I like it.
even though things will never be
between you and me
I remember when it was,
maybe it's the weather,
this time last year.
I remember the quirks,
the stresses,
the talks.
it makes me miss you.
in a strange,
inexplicable way.
all the what ifs
float in thoughts at moments
I was sure
never to repeat.
but here I am again,
a friend.
right where I want to be.

s p a c e.

give me two years,
the change i seek will be lived
away from here-
where all will be new again.
from scratch, different,
challenging.

i want to run free...
nothing will stop me.
you'll see.

you (s)

i stop to think of you
and i get upset

i stop to think of you
and i miss the company

i stop to think of you
and i laugh out loud

i stop to think of you
and i want to come home

i stop to think of you
and i smile so much it hurts

i stop to think of you
and i want to get away

i stop to think of you
and i boycott love

Otis Lee.

you use to make me sing along
as i finger painted on the walls
careless and free
with you,
there were no responsibilities.

Did you know that you can send your Cabbage Patch Kids to 'bath camp'?
It's only 30$.

found him!
Otis Lee has a myspace account.

just a note.

'finding a replacement, with a heart sedated... i'll forget you.'

thank you.

amazing.

refreshing.

inspiring.

unbelievable.

unreal.
out of this world.

all I dreamed of.

unexpected wonders.

beautiful friendships.

unforgettable memories...




just what i needed.



so much i want to do
to repay
to show i care
appreciate
adore.

distance restrains me to thank you.
thank you so much.

Coincidence?

you both talked to me last night.
you both said things I didn't care about.
you wonder why I don't talk to you.
you wondered if I had heard the news.
you miss me.
you apologized.
I miss you too.
I'm happy for you.

i'll be here all night.

'hey, chantale? how'd you get in so early?'

...

'i took the wind into work.'

my life as told by Gordon.

hello city.
maybe we always saw right through each other anyway.
this is me in grade nine, baby, this is me in grade nine.
you think you're so smart, but i've seen you naked.
it's not fair to say that it's cause i was three inches shorter than.
you can be my yoko ono, you can follow me wherever I go.
life is one big pun.
when i was born, they looked at me and said:
what a good girl, what a smart girl, what a pretty girl.
if all else fails, you can blame it on me.
afraid of change, afraid of staying the same.
we never really knew each other anyway.

i climb the walls of my mind, it's like a jungle gym
i am more than content with the state of mind i'm in
cause I am crazy, just like you.
i've lost my marbles
my elevator doesn't go to the top.
the lights are on, but nobody's home.
i'm not playing with a full deck.
I flew over the cucoo's nest, and I'm never coming back.

if I had a milion dollars, i'd be rich.
i know that when i say this, i may be stepping on pins and needles.
just wondering where the hell all the love has gone?
i put my hands around your neck, you wrap your arms around me.
i can hold you till you turn out the light.
i thank my hairdresser for giving me such beautiful curls.
i'm 23 and they won't let me grow up.
bare with me, bare with me, be with me tonight.
i know that it isn't right.
he's not the king of bedside manor.
if you want to play to mind games- that's fine.
la la la I can't hear you.
just playing my guitar and building castles in the sun.
you've found an enemy in me.

the message.

it was a wednesday
i missed his call.
it was unexpected
a surprise.

this blurred vision
of a face
so familiar
so far away.

the dial tone disappeared
he spoke so kindly
so softly
insert funny here.
i was mesmorized.

i smiled.
i laughed.
i responded out loud.

my face hurt from the imprints
i'd never smiled like this before
blushing in disbelief
as a stranger
was welcomed in my heart
once more.

the rush.
the truth.
the risk.
adventures.

will lead me to you.

the modest post.

i have been

hurt
teased
ridiculed
used
embarassed

but.

never have i been


this disrespected.