The end?

http://www.djnd.com/ComedyYearbook.pdf

T'was the time of my life.
Glad to be free again.

Destiny?

Drowning in a pool of doubt
I feel helpless
Puppet-like.

My destiny is out of control
I feel powerless
Child-like.

The past month has really taken a toll on me... I've become someone I don't know, someone selfish and misunderstood. I am lost, I am beginning to digress, I feel like someone is out to get me. I guess that's the life of a true comedian. I just wish there was something I could do. I wish it was all over. It will be very shortly and I think it's the only thing keeping me sane at this point. I look forward to being successful in my new life.

I want to go down in history.
I don't want to be known as the really nice girl who knows how to make a good punch.

12 more days...

Exhausted, stressed,
mentally and physically.
Anxious for the forward,
adoring you.

There's so much I've been wanting to write about for the past week or so, but those four lines can just about sum it up.

For now, time to get back to rehearsals.

So it all comes down to this...

Tear
Stare
Smile
Think
Pause.
Drop

I broke down again today. I didn't want to let it show.
Renée wasn't even close to being on the 'list'.

Whatever they said was bullshit. That night mattered. They don't look past the present- I'm bitter and annoyed. I tried to leave professionally but was noticed in the distance. I was better after the Tindal hug.

It's great to have the support of your friends... too bad they're also your competition.

There's so much I want to prove, so much I want to say, so much I want to show the world. It's hard for me to come to the realization that maybe it's not my turn just yet...

I cancelled the Rivoli tonight. I know, I'm disappointed in myself too.
I'm on a bit of a hiatus. Renée will be back, I promise- only next time fully recharged and hopefully a little funnier.

I'm going to let these next three weeks take their course.

You can work so hard for something and not even be close to where you want to be.

When I think about it, I really have learned a lot this year. Too bad it wasn't in a classroom.

Thanks for listening.

A Zwuieeee Plouksh.

I got to peak into that crystal ball tonight...

It was one hell of a flash back. And to think it was only 3 years ago. I miss my old life sometimes, I wish there wasn't such a language barrier between it and I. It was weird to be there... I was myself, but a completely different person.

Nothing has changed in Ottawa, not even French improv. Sure... people have 'grown', but it's all still the same to me. I miss it. I miss the jerseys, the nicknames, the crazy songs and the immense amount of 'zest for life' energy. Oh- and Chris Paquette... A drunken womanizer, but eye candy none-the-less.

Jerome and I went out for drinks to one of the campus bars after the game. I ran into more people from highschool and just regurgitated all that 'so what you up to?' crap that we're forced to do now. I always find it hard to get out of those conversations... we all know I'm not a fan of 'take care'- but I highly recommend using it to avoid awkwardness. It sums up the short meaningless jargon from one person to the next.

This afternoon, I morphed back into a sixteen year old. I passed my G2 renewal test. I had an instructor named Saeed who mumbled his words and smelled like pine. I couldn't understand half of what he was saying, so I nodded several times,'uh-huhed' and 'yessed'. I kept asking him retarded questions like : 'So, have you been doing this for a long time?' when we both obviously knew the answer. Tried to score bonus points I guess... I'm a winner!

Tomorrow is the big 'party' get together at good old East Side Mario's... if you're reading this and have no plans, come on out. I'm celebrating being old. I wish my robot was here... thinking of you...

Gnight!