I dropped my glass slipper.

May the man of my dreams please return it to me before midnight?
Thanks.

My fingers hurt. My caluses (?) is forming from playing so much guitar. I have to admit, it's really addictive once you know how to put everything together.

Gross story of the day: Phoebe ate a rubber elastic last night... and sure enough pooped it out this afternoon. BUT the turd was done and the elastic was stuck in her ass! She tried to rub it out by dragging her ass all over the carpet!!! I had to do it myself, it was fucking disgusting. Especially when it snapped once it got out of her. For now, her ass is clean, but I'm still pissed I had to clean her shit all over the place.

Quite the LOL moment. Duncs was there to witness it. Eww. We watched Mayor of the Sunset Strip tonight... so good. A must see documentary.

I think I'm the queen of one-liners in the show. Best ending lines ever. But the downside for now is that I'm in 4 sketches, awesome ones for sure... but we always like to shine more than we are permitted at times- don't we? I can't wait for the industry show, I badly want to do my stand-up act. Ah well, I've got some good sketches brewing for the next one. I'm not worried.

The boy business is completely over. I feel disgusting over the whole thing. I guess I'm more upset over it because I'm not already in a new relationship. It's that time of year where I wish I was. Less than a month until Christmas- anyone want to babysit elastic ass? Let me know.

Until then- bonne nuit.

CAMERA ONE, CAMERA TWO.

Haha, don't mind that last post- just had to have some sort of closure with the whole thing... I came home in a great energetic mood, then I hit a bump so I had to shrug it off. Nothing says 'closure' like a poem (that begins to rhyme, then sucks).

There. It's done.

AND NOW BACK TO HOW AWESOME THINGS HAVE BEEN.

Ah man, today was like Christmas. Can you believe it? THE ALLAN GUTTMAN graced us with his presence in class today. ALLAN FUCKING GUTTMAN. He's coming back in January and I'm so excited. When we lost him, we lost our daddy. You don't understand... he's so much to me, and probably everyone else too. I love that man and he made our day for sure. I mean, no regular teacher/mentor could walk into a room and have everyone roar with cheer and receive a standing ovation. No one except for ALLAN GUTTMAN. Crazy.

Clearly, I'm still in shock about it.

We're getting into rehearsals and it's been so amazing. We've seen something like 100 sketches and blackouts and the atmosphere of it all is just a total rush. Everyone is being so great and things are running smoothly. I can't help but feel extremely at ease when it comes to putting on shows, it's the best time ever. DREAM JOB. Sitting around all day, pitching sketches, laughing histerically... and silently booing a few. (hehe) I've written a couple with Camiel and Sarah... I would like for one of them to be in- but it's an honor to even be involved in the others, for some of that shit is off the wall!

I'm headlining at Yuk Yuks tonight. I know... crazy eh? There was a camera crew at school today, filming for a Ryerson documentary... and they interviewed a few of us. I got to answer so interesting questions and even do a couple of bits on camera. Turns out, they'll be following me at Yuk Yuk's tonight, while I get ready and everything. I'll make sure to throw in some voice class techniques. ;-)

Oh well, I'm off to break both my legs. Wish me luck.

The path I took.

I met someone new.
He became a friend
We both grew curious
So the inuendoes did too.

We slowly fell for one another
INTERFERANCE!
Then, finally, a kiss.
But I couldn't find in him
The feeling that I miss.

We discussed everything
Like adults who knew how?
But then one day
I started living in the now.

I realized he wasn't mine
Heck, I lost him long ago.
No point in trying again
For I knew where that would go

I moved on
I'm still walking it off
Thinking, how did this happen?
When it all came so fast
And just LIKE THAT
I lost my chance.

That chance will come again
Only thrice better
I am sure

I'm back to where I started
I've become the friend again
Ironic, isn't it?
Circle of life perhaps
Awkward situations,
Yet, I still think of it
As an experience.

I won some, I lost close to none.

Thank you for your time,
But sadly sir,
You just missed the
FUN BOAT.

Sad face.

In your lifetime you meet all kinds of people. Some will affect you in more ways than others. Some will come and go, and some will remain on your one-hand count of best friends to keep.

I have never 'lived' this much. Everything to me now is beyond real. I reside in the city of Toronto, downtown... I live with my best-friend(s). I absolutely adore the state of mind that I'm in. I love what has now become home to me. My friends are all here, my life is on the right track. Things are looking up in a sense that my dreams are slowly coming true.

Although I have been distracted for the past few months with a new acquaintance, my head is still up high and nothing will get in the way of my success.

I spent so much time trying to figure out what I really wanted. When, truthfully, the entire time... what I wanted wasn't there at all. I feel sad inside because I put a lot of effort into showing who I was, and I was unable to break down the wall. I feel defeated, like I lost something, someone as real as life can get. I got lost into thinking that I could help and recieve happiness... but once again- it's just another guys' loss. I am too much of a great person to go through any kind of pain like this. And I'm far too strong to let myself get affected by it.

Everyone wants to be held and told that everything will be okay. I guess that's where I have a problem. I just want to be loved.

Normally, I try and try until I get what I want. But in this case, at this point, I am restless and unreachable. I've gone from hot to cold in mere seconds. I wish I knew how to handle it better. I don't want to lose a friend, but maybe that's what will need to happen in order for me to move on.

The words like TIME and PATIENCE lose their meaning. How quickly things can be forgotten, words can be taken back and feelings misplaced.

I'm stronger than any other woman without a man, I have this sort of power and self confidence that makes me feel like I will survive.

In the meantime, I still believe the hype that (It was his loss) and that (someday I'll find the man of my dreams).

Someday... just not right now. Oh god. I'm having to much fun to get lost again.

Meet Me

Meet me in a shop where things are on sale
Meet me near the park, under the sunset
Meet me in the middle of an afternoon shower
Meet me on the planet of 'I don't know's'-
Meet me on the edge of happiness.

We could get the best of everything
We could enjoy the beauty of it all
We could splash around in the puddles
We could have fun exploring-
We could fall in love.

Square One

We talk
We don't know
So we wait for the forward

We touch
We don't know
So we become even closer

We kiss
We don't know
So we digress back to square one

We talk again
You don't know
So we wait for tomorrow

Uncle Joey?

Apparently, this weekend, we'll be 7 people in this place. I'm looking forward to having one heck of a good time since our friends from Ottawa are coming up for a few days. But for the next little while, it's testosterone meets estrogene times 2 @ 853. Anxious to see what that'll turn out to be like. It's always good to have a couple men around the house.

CLUB 853 was a flying success, thanks to everyone who came out. There will be another show on the 22nd of November and we're taking the first 17 comics who email us at CLUB853@HOTMAIL.COM- Showtime is at 8pm, I encourage you all to be a part of our intimate audience. B.Y.O.Chair.

All in all, i'm in a complete state of happiness, I could be dreaming- but that's how I live my reality anyways. I'd hate to jinx things, so I'm knocking on wood and saying my goodnight tout-de-suite.

Poem craze...

Yeah, so... they're free verse. I don't see anyone stopping me. It's kind of ironic actually how I've been somewhat 'inspired' to write these lately- I wouldn't really call them poems. They're just things I want to say in a creative way. Enjoy.

Time to watch Shrek 2.
Sleep well my creatures of the night.
I miss you (yes you)

Optimistic Utopia

In a world- like mine
everything is healed by words:
lyrics, a poem or a song.

Music picks you up and
lifts you into your finest dreams

Nothing hurts-
not even a paper cut

Tingles never leave your body.
A magical spine walks you
through the day.

You never realize you're dreaming-
the illusion feels so real.

Strength is found deep within
But there is always time to help someone in need.

Fun is the population
Smiles, the currency.
Welcome to my optimistic Utopia.

Home?

Unfamiliar
12 months ago.
New home,
High hopes.

Undiscovered
Years to come
Adventures calling
A name to remember-
Influencial smile.

Bead on a city street
Twirling with flare
Pass it by,
Feel the moment
Never forget its' colour or shape.

Feels like home?
Familiar faces secure
My new surroundings
-Mountains of debt
Yet, still...

I am content. (e)

A Poem for Ben.

You sit silently smirking my way.
Something mysterious about you.
Meet me on the wavelength
That no one really knows.

Deep down- there's a little boy
Inside, wanting to play.
I see through you.
Pick up the frisbee
Smile.

One day here,
The next,
He disappears.

D I S T A N C E

I'm trying hard to keep my
D I S T A N C E
Might I still have a chance?
Grace me with adoration.
Colour my vivid dreams
With some of your precious time.
Happiness aids my frustration
Only if you're healed first.
Thoughts bring the illusion of
CLOSENESS

Hey ma, I think I'm failing.

Haha, what a day today has started to be. Pop quiz in history class. We all know I don't do too well with those. I'll be lucky if I get 5 marks. But ironically, I don't care. I seem to just be optimistic about the whole thing I guess. I'll do extra work, or maybe I should have just read Candide in the first place. Oh, how lazy and such a procrastinater I can be. Aw well, my fault.

This year at school seems like it's just one big waste of time. Everything is repetitive and it's all leading up to the 'sketch shows'. I thought I wasn't in high school anymore. That's all I looked forward too then, was the big drama class productions- and maybe the odd English project. Now, I'm happy in the sense that I'm with my new and wonderful friends, that I've got some sort of a career happening and that I live downtown Toronto- but I still feel like I've got more to learn. They can't teach you life experiences in College. I really feel like I should have taken the postgrad program, for the maturity level as well as the work load. Ah well. Mom and Dad, thank you for your understanding, ahem... money. It will EVENTUALLY come into effect.

The only class where I do feel I progress is in stand-up class. My teacher gives me reason to be motivated. It's a class where you get to explore who you really are, to then find out what that + your comic abilities make you as a stand-up comedian. I love Mondays for that reason. Maybe because I get to indulge into 'myself' or whatever, but it's also where I learn the most. For example- we did yet another excercise where we had to yell out some sentences, but this time accentuating on either the vowels or the consonants. When I began to say my sentences, I couldn't help but come out sounding extremely french. It's like my 'hidden accent' was discovered, the one that Andrew says I do when I'm on stage. It was far more elaborate though- I couldn't grasp the difference between vowels and consonants, I was just FULL OUT FRENCH. So, by seeing this, my teacher asked me to do my set with an accent. I did it and it was 'fucking hilarious' according to a few of my classmates- and considering the fact that they haven't seen my set live before, I'll take that as a compliment. Mondays are always feel good days. Then, when you hit hump day- it gets blah.

Fridays are getting better for me. Bowmander and I have a way better relationship, and when you do get on his good side- he's a pretty sweet guy.

The party on Saturday had to be one of my top 3. It was great... good times all around ;-) and MAN, ROCKY HORROR was hilarious. 4th time so far and best performance yet. DARKNESS DARKNESS- man that bitch was funny. Shuuuuuuuuuuuuuut up! *handful of rice on the back of her head*

Well, back to class for now.

Good to see you.

Can you believe it's already November 2nd? Time flies when you're having fun, I guess. I've had quite the eventful week- quite the week I anticipated actually. Things have been going 'my way' up until now. I've had some sort of control over some things and I've felt great... less vulnerable I think. But then I go back and morph into the emotional woman that I am and can't help but feel weak.

I've written many things, I've been thinking like crazy. School is a bore and I'm more than ready for the real world.

I need to fill the one gap in my life right now- that's all. Alanis is always there to heal my pain.