Rose Tint My World.

Everything is coming together... I've been extremely busy with work, homework and several gigs. I'm in a complete state of hapiness. My mind is in a beautiful place right now. Things are on a roll and I can't help but feel excessively creative. There are so many things to look forward to the next few months that I'm wired and can't seem to focus on some of the more important things like dishes or phoning people. Haha, ah well.

I'm so excited about this upcoming weekend! Think about it; partying, Halloween, Rocky Horror... the madness!

It's better than how things were a week ago. I need to be less selfish in some areas of my life. Cheers to good times my friends.

Selfish.

I can't sleep. My mind is running fast. I'm trying to catch up-
I feel like a fool, why am I falling with wild abandon?
I knew it would come to this.
I have to stop, thinking, dreaming, believing.
I must have other things to do.
I am strong, giving, amazing.
I just wish someone knew.
I need attention, passion and forgiveness.
Je suis vulnerable. Can I come in?
I wish life were a movie.
I want to act like I'm not hurt.
I shall feed my imagination,
I won't leave my place in line.
I'll be here for you
Just like I'd do if you were completely mine.

Time Takes Time.

Tossed salad
Intense emotions
More than a friend
Everything.

Truthful words
All so fast
Keeping a distance
Eventful outings
Some indoors.

Take it
Intimate thoughts
Many conversations
Everlasting bond.

Check the O.R

You like it so far?

I had the priviledge to meet Tom Green tonight. He was in town to promote his new book 'Hollywood Causes Cancer'... I was completely surprised to see under 20 people in line for the signing (underground?) and amazed at how nice of a guy he is. He pulled a few stunts and appologized to this cute little girl for swearing. He asked her if she had 'ever heard mommy say those words?' then appologized to the police officer standing behind him. It's so crazy how much the media takes over, like they have some sort of super pass that allows them to do anything. You could tell who the hardcore fans were... I brought my Tonsil Hockey tape and yelled out a couple comments like: "THE GONK, ROGERS CABLE 22 and OTTAWA!!!"

Okay... shhhh shhhh...I recorded the whole thing and was playing it in the background as I'm writing this and I'm next in line to talk to him... our convo went like this: (I know. It's nerdy)

*Handing my camera to the camera lady...

ME- Hey Tom, pleasure to meet you!

TOM- Hey Renée, Renée?

ME- Yeah...

TOM- Haha, the GONK!

ME- Haha, yeah...represent! Um I just had a question for you.. I'm in comedy school here in Toronto and you're such a huge inspiration to me and many of my...

TOM- Cool! They have a comedy school here in Toronto?

ME- Yeah, it's with Humber College actually...

TOM- Oh, okay...cool!

ME- I was just wondering if you had any words of wisdom to someone whose trying out much like you did, way back in the day...

TOM- Oh,um, geeze, I don't know, just you know keep at it, you know?

ME- Okay.

TOM- Don't quit!

ME- Haha,no.

TOM- Even if you want to quit...

ME- Okay, thank you. Are you ever going to go back to doing some stand up?

TOM- Um, maybe....I mean I kinda just want to do stuff on television right now, I'm better at writing jokes for that...

ME- Yeah, so you. Well if you do decide to go back to it, I'd definetly would like to check it out.

TOM- Well thanks.


CAMERA LADY- Okay... and smile!
Tom and I did an awkward face (best picture ever!)


TOM- Cool, thanks... you want me to write on that? (Tonsil Hockey tape)

ME- Yeah, that'd be awesome. You're so great, keep it up Tom, thank you.

TOM- Keep at it yourself...

ME- Thanks dude.

TOM- I hope it'll all work out for you...

ME- Thanks Take care...

TOM- See ya Renée.



And that was that! It always feels like one small step closer for some reason. Look at what he has accomplished- he's a household name! From Ottawa! So great.. yet another Canadian artist who doesn't forget his roots. Got to love it.

Time to indulge in the book.

Tonight's quote.

'Spinning, laughing and dancing to her favorite song... She's a little girl, with nothing wrong, but she's all alone.'

I'm happy, I'm sad, I'm all over the place- but come tomorrow morning the 'tragedy' becomes comedy- story of my life.

I locked myself out of my house tonight. Way to top all things off. My First Crush was great though ;-)...

I found myself singing on my porch, pep-talking to myself, going to pizza pizza to warm up where Russian men were discussing the war, went back on my porch then finally got to the now-familiar frat house. Thank you for taking me in at 1am.

I later found out that the roomate was inside our apartment sleeping the entire time.
You win some, you lose some.

This one is for Krug.

Haha, this originally was an idea for a blackout of mine... then someone said the correct saying was 'heart', so I decided to narrow it down to a silly little comic (my first!) because I was still convinced that it was funny. Go ahead- judge me. There's a third guy at the bottom yelling some sort of stereotypical insult. Krug, I know you're out there. We're going to be famous.

The past few days have gone by quicker than the last week. Fall does fly by- is it daylight savings time this weekend? No, wait... maybe it's the next. Either way, this is my favorite time of year. It's chilly yes, but god is it every beautiful out there.

I'm off to see My First Crush at Tim Sims tonight... I've heard great reviews and would like to have one of my own. I know two of the cast members and doubt that it will be unentertaining. Merde to the both of you tonight; Adam and Chris.

I had a set at Yuk Yuk's last night, went alright... but the crowd sort of interrupted my flow. I got laughs in places I normally don't so it threw me off guard, but I think I was still prepared. In due time this year, I hope to headline. The crowd there is getting bigger and bigger- good, yet sometimes too generous.

I also had a wonderful Thanksgiving. The turkey dinner came to me and so did a worry-free weekend of fun. Go see Shark Tale!!! I don't care what anybody says, I loved it! Lady Killers... on the other hand... no, too slow for me. Good concept, very dark, but too slow.

I'm happy where I am now. My head is much more clear. But I'm still lost. Hope all is well with everyone! haha.

Episode 2: Bowmander files.

For those of you who have read my msn name today and need an explanation- it will follow. But first, I'd like to take a minute here and thank those of you who are commenting. I'm happy to share my thoughts and stories with you- and I'm thankful of your support! Gracias.

Alright, so today was Friday, and Friday means acting class = the class where I'm least welcomed. Let me start off by saying that NEVER in my history of schooling have I detested a teacher this much, nor have I encountered one that detested ME this much. I'm so innocent, it's not even funny. I did not deserve those words from him today, I was on the verge of tears- I don't need a prada-mouthful telling me that I have the worst teacher-student relationship with him, that there could possibly be. Ouch Bowmander. Way to hit me in the feelings. If it were any other week, I bet you I wouldn't even be so bothered by it since, I myself am a better person than he. But I really didn't need that extra cherry to my already melted sundae. Oh god, I'm turning into my father. Dr. Phil quotes are cool right?

Anyways, I felt embarassed and mocked in front of my entire class (thanks to those who looked at me and motioned that he was an ass) but not the embarassing 'I do this everyday in Comedy school embarassing...' the real kind that I haven't felt since, oh I don't know, like grade 9! It took all I had in me to shut up. I stood there nodding my head as he insulted me using his figure of authority, as my face turned beet red and I cried internally. I may not disagree with his method of acting (thank god, or I'd be his worst enemy) but I do disagree with his way of teaching. Someone like me, let alone a whole room of me's will get fet up with it one time or another. When things like this happen, I can't help but think- 'I'm paying 50$ a class for this?' Welcome to second year, Chantale.

It doesn't end there... Afterwards, while others went up to execute their 'lines', he kept appologizing to me through their evaluations, which did not please me. But it's like he knew I was upset and wanted to Bowmander his way into friendship again. Sorry buddy, I'm your student. Not your friend.

I guess you can't always get what you want. A perfect life, perfect grades, perfect relationships... you just have to work with all these types of people.

I sometimes should take my own advice.

Today was long long long long long. I worked forever and just felt so blah. I'm looking forward to a fun-filled weekend to freshen up a little. I've been caught up with things and it's time for me to come back down to earth. I've got stuff to face like an adult and I'm just going to have to tuff it out. Even if all I really want to do is escape somewhere for a little while.

It's times like these where I miss home. I just want a hug from my Mom to tell me that everything will be okay. I'd pay 200$ for that right now. I believe Bowie says it best: " Ch-ch-ch-ch changes, turn and face the strange. Time may change me, but I can't change time!" Yeah, I'm still hooked. :P

On a less serious note... would you buy your underwear at a place that sold them outside in a bin labelled 'underware' ?? Me neither. Haha.

Is there life on Mars?

I convinced my Politics teacher to push back our test an hour so we 'as comedy students' could go see Dustin Diamond perform for an hour in the cafeteria. I was surprised he said yes, but then again- I used my manipulating voice- aHA Cindy Block. Knowing me, knowing you. That was for Morgan! Anyways, 'Screech' as we may all remember him- was a pretty good comic. It's sad to realize that he's riding on that character's coat-tail though... His act was pretty solid, but it was weakened when he'd let random people ask questions during it. ALL of the questions were obviously Saved By the Bell related and I mean, come on! Cut the guy some slack. He's performing in COLLEGE CAFETERIAS!!! I gave my mean look to my fellow classmates who said it sucked. "I don't see you up there, do I?"

I was up @ Spirits tonight- and I'm quite satisfied, I tried my new msn mom joke and it kinda flopped, still need to work on it. As for my regular act, I can feel it getting stronger and stronger.

Listening to Bowie, dreaming.
Turning off the lights.
G'night!

For the love of (.)

I can't stop.
I can't think.
I can't sit straight.
I can't lie down.
I can't sleep.
I can't do homework.
I can't watch tv.

I don't want to talk to anyone else.
I don't want to fall too quickly.

I can only dream for the moment.
Dreams do come true right?

God damn it it's 2:24am and class is in less than 7 hours. Help me!

Time.

Is it possible to think too fast?
I'm clocking in at one hundred.
Feeling so close, yet so far away.
Hear me ticking, loud and clear.

There's never enough,
I simply want more.
It tells me to be patient.
I'm listening to my gut.

Weird how it arrives
and is recieved well welcomed.
With open arms and mind
I await the future.

He stole my raisins.

Damn you Bowmander.
How dare you take away my yogourt covered raisins.
I didn't give you permission.

Fridays are really starting to get to me... a 9am acting class isn't my idea of 'fun' in the morning. I mean if we'd be spending less time on idiotic things I would agree that it is helpful, but please... get me outta there! I was very impatient, I couldn't sit, I couldn't stop being a brat and I just wanted to come home and have a nap. Not that I don't like this teacher... he just knows how to push my buttons- and I don't bullshit so we head butt. I think I learn more that way?

I didn't get the chance to nap this afternoon since it's 'meatloaf' night here @ 853. All is welcome- hail my mother's infamous recipe. I'm off to prep quite shortly.

I had to bring Phoebe to the vets again for her to get her stitches removed. I think I have a furball of my own in my throat cause she shed so much. yuk.

I didn't feel like making 7 trips to the beer store this afternoon, so I called this company that picks up empties (so cool)... I think he's even going to give me some money for them. Beats having me look like a crazy lady with baskets of smelly beer bottles... hehe.


TOGA TOGA TOGA TONIGHT