Poor Phoebe.

My baby kitty is in heat and she desperately needs to get laid. It looks like it hurts alot. Poor Phoebe. I'm going to bring her to the vets tomorrow.

I just got back from one of my new jobs. I just so happened to get two this week. I'm working at this restaurant right around the corner from my place and Payless shoes. One is for the money, the other cheap feet dressings. hehe.

Three shows again tomorrow, the reviews have been great! It's such a great feeling to know that you've done a great job at something you want to do for the rest of your life. I don't know if I'll continue to go corporate, but this is definitely up my alley.

Happy Birthday Mr. St-Cyr. You're a year older, but to me- you're still in that purple Burger King uniform.

Yet another pointless entry, I know.

Back to life. Back to reality.

So September starts in two days.
Wow, that was a shitty, yet fast summer.
The 'wife' comes home today, I am complete again.
School begins shortly and I can't wait! I was thinking today, of how lucky I am to have met these incredible, talented people. I count my blessings to be a part of this group and can't believe that this is our last year together.
I come back to Ottawa for Labour Day weekend, that should be fun. Lots of rest and quality family time.

I'm feeling good, the show is going so great- I'm really proud of what we've done.
The ex boyfriend finally decided to come pick up his shit yesterday, after three false attempts. Boy, that was awkward. He managed to get a couple hugs out of me. EEeeee. Phoebe needs a boyfriend. I want baby kitties.

The end, the chapter closes on the not-so-hot summer of 2004. I wish I would of made milions of dollars, I wish I could have spent more time at home. I wish I could have seen different parts of the world and fallen hopelessly in love with my summer crush. I wish I didn't catch mono. None of these things happened and there's no one else to blame but me. I made these choices for one reason- they've helped me grow stronger as a person. There's a reason for everything and my destiny is still on the right track.

I needed to get in debt. I needed to soak up Toronto. I needed some time away. I needed to date and I needed to look after myself. All these things make me who I am today, August 30th 2004. Time flies.

God Bless David Talbot.

I used to think he was an uptight guy who liked things his way, but my perception of him has really changed over the past few weeks. He is a wonderful director, but most of all, a caring, kind man. It's so weird how you begin to think you might not like someone, then turn around and like them very much. Thank you for the support, the understanding, the hug... everything.

To those of you who haven't read my recent MSN name... I'm in LOVE with Regan Burns. Who is this mystery man you might ask? Well... he's the host of 'Oblivious' on Spike TV.. the 'gameshow you didn't even know you were on'. Yeah- That GUY. SO funny. Did you know that it plays for like an hour and a half each night @ 10. Great watchings before bed I tell ya.

Happy Birthday to mister Chapman today. To Morgan yesterday and to Eric very shortly. We're going to celebrate shortly! Wooo.

The mono thing is going pretty good I guess, as good as it can. I'm 'listening to my body', not drinking, sleeping pretty well- having AWESOME dreams. Wow, the best one I can remember from last night was : it was my sister's birthday and she had an auditorium of friends full to celebrate. The opening act was shitty and everyone was getting pretty bored, so she looked at me for the entertainment... I 'sick as I am now' in the dream, came out with this wicked costume and sang Happy Birthday to her, with this huge orchestra in the background. It was nuts, everyone was clapping insanely and I even made the papers!

Fucked up, I know...I had a couple other ones too. Dreaming can sometimes be better than sex I think... well.. no, maybe not.

I've been franticly asking the comedy peeps what their schedual is like. I can't wait to start school, this is probably my favourite time of the year... new books, new pencils, hehe- ok I'm not that excited. But for classes, I sure am. I'm apparently in the '01 class. That's no days off, early days and Stand-up on Mondays @ 10:50. It's going to be a wicked time. WOoooooooo.

The EX decided to call two days ago. Yeah... to come pick up his stuff YESTERDAY. WTF? How irresponsible can one single person be? I haven't talked to the guy in 4 months!AND he didn't even pick up his stuff! SO he decided to call today, appologize and momentarily announce that he's coming tomorrow. AWKWARD. Man o Man. Wish me luck.

Anyways, I'm off to shower then rehearse. Peace!

The kissing disease!

Lovely... after all those scary tests, turns out I've got the mono mono, got the mono mono! I'm so happy it isn't anything too serious. I shouldn't have kissed all those bad boys...

hehe. Going to nap- AGAIN.

QUIZ TIME!

Last good cry: Sunday night.
Last library book checked out: Probably something Judy Bloom.
Last movie seen: Teenagers From Outer Space
Last book read: Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris.
Last cuss word uttered: Tabarnack.
Last beverage drunk: H2O
Last food consumed: Chilli and boiled eggs
Last phone call: to Mom
Last TV shows watched: The Daily Show
Last time showered: This morning
Last shoes worn: Flip flops
Last CD played: Zero7- When it Falls.
Last item bought: Groceries
Last downloaded: Julie Andrews songs
Last annoyance: Arriving at the bank right when it closed.
Last disappointment: Thunder Storm tonight?!
Last thing writen: Things to do list
Last key used: Backspace
Last word spoken: Phoebe!
Last sleep: Tiny nap at Andy's today.
Last Instant message: Hey, you there?- to Brendan
Last sexual fantasy: Some weird dream last night...
Last ice cream eaten: So Good ice cream, last week.
Last time in love: Years ago.
Last time hugged: Last night
Last time scolded: These pass days with all those tests...
Last time resentful: Not really resentful at all..
Last chair sat in: The one I'm in right now.
Last lipstick used: Lip BALM, this morning.
Last underwear: Lime green.
Last bra worn: Black.
Last shirt worn: My favourite halter with the flower.
Last time dancing: This morning, while getting ready.
Last poster looked at: The one right beside my computer
Last show attended: Twelve34 @ Third Floor Reilly's on Saturday.
Last webpage visited: www.comedynetwork.ca (to check on odd job jack)


hehe, I ripped this off Kat's blog. Enjoy!

Facts of fear.

3 clinic visits
3 hospital 'emergency room' visits
18 hours waiting
8 nurses
5 doctors
5 hospital beds
8 blood samples
4 needles that didn't catch a vein
9 bruises
4 E.C.G's (electro cardio-grams)
7 blood pressure tests
5 heart rate monitors
2 urine samples
1 throat swab
1 deidimer test
1 CT scan of the thorax
1 ink injection for the veins
1 chest x-ray
1 leg ultrasound
101 dollars worth of medication.


I have never been this scared in my entire life. Three nights ago I was experiencing a pain in my abdominal region... it got more and more painful on Sunday evening so I went to get it checked out at the emergency because all other clinics were closed.

The hospital doesn't let you leave until you're completely checked out. And let me tell you that I take my hat off to all the nurses and doctors I've seen in the past 72 hours. I arrived there alone and started to worry the moment I stepped into that waiting room. It took forever to see someone about my little pain while I watched people rush in through stretchers far worse off then me. Did you know that OHIP now pays $350 per visit to the emergency room???

So what happened was they took all kinds of tests, thinking that I had a pulmonary embolism which is a blood clot on the lung. Turns out I don't have one, but I do have a high heart rate, blood pressure and white blood cell count. This all means that I could have a viral infection ( strep throat / mono...) I get the results tomorrow morning... I'm still a little nervous, but I'm happy it's no blood clot. A viral infection- I'll take anyday.

I have to say that I've prayed and I've talked myself through it and I appreciate everyone's given support, especially mommy. The worst feeling is being alone at the hospital without your mom telling you to 'calm down'. I'm a worry wart and I've got to stop. And I will.

There will be major changes in my lifestyle because of this scare.... I know the hospital wants to be absolutely sure about everything, but I went through emotional hell with all those tests. Way to make my fears reality. I hate hospitals... or should I say hated? I've gotten a little more accustomed to things... I kept asking about all the machinery and tests. Today the doctors were like "how do you know all this?"... hehe, I felt smart for a little bit. I talk when I'm nervous and heck, I exchanged some weird conversations with some of the sickest people there. We're all in those cubicals to get better. Health is so important and I kick myself now for lacking there of.

I will never again take this for granted, it's a serious issue that we should all take into our hands... regular check ups and yearly examinations. They're scary I know, but take it from the most nervous person and do it. It's such a priviledge to be living in such a wonderful world, surrounded by all who love you.

Sorry to have gotten all 'emotional' on your ass. Hehe, I'm back to my better self, I think... or I'm in the process of healing. I feel much better and must get to bed to head to work in the morning.

Apart from that stir fry, I'm having a great time. I can't wait until things get back to normal.

I love you. Thank you for listening.

YES! Playdoh.

A GHOST!

Aww man, I absolutely love cabin fever. Everything we said today was hysterical! It's wicked to be 'working at a friends house' and getting paid for it. GOOD TIMES.

I have lots to say but I'm very tired. So here's the sum-up of things.

No call back.
Spirits tonight = great!
Cabaret tomorrow night= Hot mister Ryan Horwood. When will I ever get the courage?
Twelve34 on Saturday- you guys better come or I'll bite you on the shoulder.
I feel like I have huge balls in my throat! (soar as hell)
Bought 3 new cd's today: Air and 2 Zero 7 compilations. BRILLIANT!
I miss summer camp. Always.

Merci Cactus :)
End scene. Time to dream.

Guess what?

Miracle whip sucks.
And I hate loud motorcycles.

BLAH BLAH BLAH.

The audition went well, they'll be doing the callbacks either tonight or tomorrow... so we'll see.

I'm off to bed, it's been a really long day :) G'night.

Re-occuring seals?

Hundreds of seals just popped into the last dream I was having... Woah. The crack can't still be in me? Can it?

I think we should all learn from our dreams. I know I should. I couldn't sleep last night because I had this re-occuring thing happen to me. It's a sleeping pattern that I get into and don't get out of until I wake up. On one side of my body, I'm strongly oppinionated, and on the other, not so much. So depending on which side I'm on, in my dream (whether it be while I'm serving a customer or arguying with guy (b), I've got a different point of view. Now... you might think this must be cool. OH NO...because in my dreams, I never make up my god damn decision, get fet up, turn around on my other side and start all over again. I got so upset with my dream last night- that I remember saying "WOULD YOU STOP DREAMING LIKE THIS" outloud. I believe that is when I got a solid two hours in me.

So I took yet another 'nap' tonight, and this time in my dream I was on a secret interview chase. This lady was interviewing me for this stupid job....then I passed some secret test which made me go on this hunt or something, through different rooms - in different situations. She was mentioning that now I was at a 'better job' position. Then we went outside, she ran into her parents and left me. That's when I looked over at the river and saw hundreds of seals.

I tried to see what the definition of all this was- but they all say different things. One said it meant people were jealous, then the other said great things will be happening.

I hope it's # 2. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

I went down to Kensington Market today to sell some Ear Candy... it went great! Tons of people there on Sundays, wow... unbelievable. I hope to go again next week- maybe hit a better spot... at one point there was this band that started playing across the street from me, so of course, the best place to stand and dance was right in front of my booth. Stupid pedestrians. hehe.

I'm nervous for my audition, but oddly more so to see what I've got waiting for me in the classroom. Until then, I must get some shut eye people. You should too- it's SUNDAY for Christs sake.

oh-oh, will I go to hell for that last comment?

It's like 10 000 spoons, when all you need is a knife...

-It's meeting the man of my dreams, and then meeting his BEAUTIFUL wife...

Isn't it ironic?

That guy (b) just so happened to park his bike near the Laugh Resort tonight? And after those numerous 'let's have a session' phone calls last night, we were back down to 'square one'?

As shocked as I was, I kept my cool. He was looking so good. I refrained from the sexual inuendoes and flirted my way through with 'we're just friends' conversation... I could tell he was a little hurt by me not picking up the phone, or returning his calls... could he tell that I wasn't interested? Heck, I probably couldn't even tell if I was. I'm such a god damn attention-wanter when it comes to boys like guy (b). I thought all of this was over... but no, he's found my hide-out, I'm still prey and should I feel bad for still thinking he's attractive? No. I'll always think that. I just have to control myself and never call this guy- but folks, it's driving me wild.

Work was alright. I was so bored today and couldn't spend any money ... so I basically slept. Funny... now I'm still tired. I think I've gotten into the habit of napping like a mo'fo. This could be a bad thing. I'll finally be getting a set at the LR pretty soon, mind you my lazy ass hasn't ever called...but after working there, you'd think it'd be only logic. I saw Jay Malone perform for the first time tonight, things are going to be happening big for this kid. Look out for him. The crowd was also graced with the presence of Fraser Young- always a DEElight. He made up a funny word tonight- the sentence was... "I pedestriated over to the place..." I'ma start using that I think.

During my washroom 'break', I thought up some new material... I always use the handicap stall in the women's washroom, but the other day- my friend told me I should use a regular one, out of respect... just incase. Incase what? A lady in a wheelchair happens to be in line waiting to urinate?? NEVER, in my entire existance, have I encountered a fat, yeah let's make her fat... a fat lady in a wheelchair waiting in line to pee. Is it just me? Don't they have one of those porty potty things attached to those things anyways?...

hehe needs elaboration- but it could work.

I've also got the telephone rant that I want to explore with, especially with the mic. Don't you hate it when your friend tells you to wait because they're going to the washroom, BUT they're taking you with them? And WHY is it that they ALWAYS have to verbalize what's 'happening'... you, you hear that? I'm PEEING, sorry, don't mind me. (giggle) And then they sort of block of the microphone of the phone and STILL say it. You might not be able to hear the actions, but it's CLEAR because they've stated where they were going in the first place. Or the friends that say 'hold on a sec.... MAAARRKK, PHONES FOR YOU!!!!!!" These people don't know when to block the speaker when they need to.

Woah, sorry about that. I didn't really want to go all into it. There's more where that came from tbough ;-).

I wrote a song during work tonight, it's kind of cheesy... I still need to touch it up a bit and then maybe I'll post it up on here- it's entitled "In My Shoes". I was singing the lyrics out loud at one point and got a little emotional (stoopid pms) and started to get watery eyes... Oh god there was this one guy tonight I wanted to hit. Well... at least pinch. I was all shouting my speach " Great show tonight folks, come check it out...Fraser Young, ya da ya da ya da..." And this idiot yells out- "I'm funnier than that guy". I just wanted to be like "YEAH? ... we..well... YOU'RE not at the Laugh Resort, now are you?"- but I didn't, simply because that comment is semi-gay and I wouldn't have seemed cool. BUT, I did give him a major look. LOOKS KILL PEOPLE.

hehe ATTACK OF THE LOOKS. Coming soon to theatre- fucking eyes all over the place and shiiiiit. WOah. I'm on crack. Goodnight.

Come visit me tomorrow in the Kensington where I'll be selling myself (and earrings) while I write a moderation parody to some Julie Andrews tunes. No joke.

Good times.

Had a great time tonight, with the 'date' and all :) I, Robot was the choice of flick and I LOVED it. We'll see what's going to happen next ....

I want a robot now though, I really do.

I got a little scared when I came home... I got a message from guy (B). He actually called yesterday- I just tried to erase it from my memory. But then he called again tonight, claiming to be in my neighbourhood. What do I do? Do I call him back? No... I won't, not tonight. And when I do talk to him... what do I say? I have no idea. All I wanted to do was just clear my mind free of everything Badali.

I guess that won't happen now will it?

Another message was from Blockbuster- I have an interview next week. Could this be my September job? Morgan will never talk to me again... I'll never here the end of it I'm sure. Will I be a BLOCKBUSTER WHORE? Tune in next week to find out.

For now, guitar time!

An audition? For TV? Me?

I just checked my messages and apparently I have an audition on Monday morning for this new improvised television show. They got my number from Bruce Hunter... I played a gig with Bruce a while back in December for the Fast & Dirty CD release party... but I don't recall talking to him, let alone giving him my number...wow, I'm a little overwhelmed. It all sounds too unreal. Of course, this could always be an underlying way to cover up the reality show they want to do with school? I don't know and it's freaking me out. Last time I auditioned with improv was for Wonderland... and we all know how that went. I was kick ass- but not what they were looking for.

I'm gonna go for this thing for sure... but my only worry is that 'work' starts at 10am, the time of my audition. I've been sick already yesterday and today... I'm not too sure I can afford to miss another hour.

I've got a date tonight :) with this great guy I recently met, hopefully it will go well- I'm not worried...the worst that could happen is that him and I become good friends. And who isn't up for another friend?

I'm freaking out now. I'm wondering if everyone else has this audition... and Bruce Hunter, when did he get my number? When has he seen me do improv??? One things' for sure... too many things are happening at the same time! ARG! Will I be able to survive, with this STUPID head VIRUS?

Yeah. It's not gone. But I can feel it getting away. Thank god. Ok, time to pamper my sick self.

Advil. I think I love you.

"If we listen to each other's heart, we'll find them never too far apart, and maybe love is the reason why, for the first time ever, we're seeing it EYE 2 EYE!"

First person to comment the name of the movie that this song is from wins... my respect.

I just woke up AGAIN.

I went to the clinic yesterday in the midst of rehearsals, feeling like shit. It was the same fever/headache I had earlier in the week. Now since school is in the Etobicoke ghetto known as Lakeshore blvd... I was a little scared to go to a clinic there... but the doctor was the nicest one I've ever met. He walked like a turtle. He knew what I had and that made me like him more. It's a "virus"... in my head? I have a head virus. It sounds like I need surgery! Oh but no.. plenty of sleep, advil and fluids. The same remedy my mom would have told me.

I spoke to my mom last night and just bawled. I hadn't cried in such a long time... I've been a little sad, depressed maybe- but mostly missing my family. They were supposed to come and visit next week but they manage to convince me to come home for a weekend (the labor day one). I think we spoke for an hour about everything, and I'm a little ball of emotion when I speak to my mom. She knows me too well.

I need to get out of my room. I need to go do some things outside and get some fresh air maybe, but before I leave for a bit I want to take this opportunity to wish a HAPPY BIRTHDAY to MIREILLE, MATHIEU and ANNE-MARIE back home.

I know, they all share the same birthday. I wish I was back home to celebrate ( heard there was a couple parties going down ;-)

See you in a bit.

Oh the sweet smell of Kipling....

Today was my first day on the 'real job'... I forgot how brutal it was for me to wake up before 9 am. I just can't do it... I found myself wanting a nap after lunch. I went from the luxurity of doing whatever the hell I want to a strict 10-6 schedual. I shouldn't complain, money is involved here and it's incredible experience. We've managed to massacre the old 'cheese ball' of a script and turn it into a mini sketch show, which should be interesting none the less. But things could change from day to day. I was very cranky near the end of the day because I wanted my sleep. When I don't get my sleep, this baby doesn't want to do anything else.

It was touching to take the westbound subway again... I fell right back into the habit of reading the metro newspapers, having my chocolate moo and then just zoning out on the 44. Seeing my friends again was probably the best part. We're technically starting school a month before everyone else... and I don't think I would have a problem intergrating into a new class this year, but I remember last year, it took me a long time to open up (find where my place was)... It gives me a head start, plus the opportunity to write and perform with some of the other students I was a little intimidated by.

Apart from that, no more Olsen twin dreams... better ones this time, involving actual men- or maybe one in particular ;-)

Ear Candy went pretty well on Monday, got lots of compliments, but most of the cool people weren't out. They'll be there next Sunday and so will we. PROFIT PROFIT PROFIT! I'm pretty boring today. Sorry for the effortless entry.

Shut up.

Huh?

I had a really weird dream a couple hours ago...

I was at one of Humber's numerous sketch shows and for some reason Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen were there to accept a special award. I later ran into them and tried to talk as if they weren't celebrities- basically tried to be cool. I used the line "I watched you girls grow up on television" i think... Then all of a sudden we found ourselves at an old improv tournament, fighting over where to sleep in the gym. They were bitches...

Why the hell would I dream of that?

Sleep. Breathe. Sleep.

I woke up at 11am.
Then 1pm.
Then 1:34pm.
Then 2pm.
And finally... my sick ass got up at 3pm.

I was shivering like crazy and googled the words: " how to take care of a fever "... seriously. Then after reading what was for children, I searched again for " how to get rid of an ADULT fever "...

hey, I was all disorientated. 14 hours of sleep just made me want to sleep more!

I had my mom's remedy in mind- a sponge bath... hehe it sounds disgusting I know (old people, wrinkles, dirty dirty) but it actually made me feel at least 40% better. I walked over to the pharmacy and got myself some drugs and then folks... 60% better! I'm going to the clinic tomorrow... things like this don't persist for 3 days...

The phone rang this afternoon... several times- I never picked it up in fear that they figured out I was a "no-show" at work... but it was my last shift, they knew it was coming. I called in sick at the Laugh Resort... shouldn't have, really needed that money- but I was in utter most pain. GUESS WHO called? My ex. Yep... he's ALIVE! I haven't heard from him in 3 months and he decides to leave me a god damn appologetic message. I have no pitty for you mister. Oh god, it will be so awkward when we talk... and I know I'll be SO FUCKING NICE. Why am I like this?

Last night was amazing (again) with the doo wops... They are incredibly talented, and probably the first headliners I've promoted that people have actually responded too... like "Hey I know them!" "They're so funny!" I was blessed to be able to chit chat with the both of them, as well as a couple more highly important people. You just have the mads hook up with this job. I ran into Nikki Payne in the streets too, she actually remembered me. COOL! PLUS I happened to bump corners with Paul Constable and Naomi Snieckus (Second City)... hehe I slowly put down my flyers and got on my knees... it was so casual! They're awesome... are we friends? Dinner at my place on Tuesday? (no?...)

Tomorrow I plan on going to the Kensington Market to sell some Ear Candy... don't forget, if you have special requests for custom made earrings email us! The coolest duds in town I tell ya.

Apart from that, just going to take it easy, rest my head... play some sketch and try to master 'Lodestar' on the GUItar... maybe I'll look at some world issues or think of things that bother me so that I can rant about it in my BLOG. Because apparently, what I do now, isn't appropriate for a certain someone out there. Because of you ... people have to now register to comment :(. Sorry guys. (ask me to become a member!)