I'm hurt.

To whomever commented on my last entry... mister or misses annonymous:

Dear _________:
Is that what you do? Go around finding "useless blogs" and bash them to the fullest extent? I don't care if I don't have a point to talk about. If you're THAT bothered by my uselessness, then stop fucking reading it. Who are you to judge what creativity exactly is? And oops, I'm sorry I'm not following the definitions of a 'blog'- so what! I have a feeling I know who you are... and no I will not be deleting any of my 'stupid' blogs, for you or for anyone. Fuck you for offering me a $100. You're a senseless human being. Let other people live for christ sake or at least go bother someone else. You've obviously got time to waste on your hands and I'm sorry to hear that. And don't you dare wish me good luck with my endeavors..it's people like you who will stop me from getting there.

I would like you to know that I'm very hurt by your comment(s)-you seem like more of an asshole to have to appologize for hitting the button twice.

For your viewing pleasure...

Asshole Haircut!

Woah... I'm watching an old re-run of CITY PULSE from like '78... Dini Petty used to be an anchorwoman! Cool... somehow, that made me a little happier. There's an old school report on the wedding of Prince Charles and Princess Diana. I'm TRIPPIN' out. haha no.

Today was rempli with lots and lots of things.

Joe stopped by for a neat little visit :)
I promoted the show like crazy in the Annexe.
Biked.
I applied to other places to get my sorry ass a job...
Worked at the Laugh Resort (thank god there's SOME income this week)
Biked like a mo' fo'.
Finally got the dishes done.
Groceries...

Little things like this keep me busy and sane. It's awfully lonely here.

If you haven't checked out the comedy stylings of The Doo Wops... I urge you to do so. They're headlining at the LR this weekend and FUCKING ROCK. Ryan Belleville made my nipples errect too, man o man.

Bonne nuit.

But first, try a quick game of SKETCH!

Ear Candy = lucious duds for your lobes.

My friend Kat and I started a company today... it was the most spontaneous thing I've ever done. In a matter of minutes, we had business cards and an email to the name of EAR CANDY. I introduce to you, an open table full of custom made earrings. Kensington market, here we come! It was so exciting to go shop in the hidden bead stores of Queen street, only to find a HUGE sale! It made my day- an overdose of beads, a total of 45 pairs made... ugh- I'm set for bedtime yo.

I started out by contacting some restaurants for sponsorship, but got a little distracted by the beautiful weather and biked, biked, biked! Tomorrow is only Thursday- I've got plenty of time.. hehe but I know that sooner or later, it'll come down to me selling zip. Bah! Earrings will be bringing in the income this month, sistas.

I did my set at Spirits tonight... I have to say it was my best out of 3 there (even if I used most of the same material as my second...) Nikki Payne was there and told me it went great, she also complimented me on my boom box. I'm telling you, that thing is gold. I was more than proud of tonight's performance- I was able, without much practice, to go up there and GIV'R, true comedian style.

I also bought a Capo today.. I've been messing around with the guitar :) Things are sounding pretty neat, just about wrote my first song. WOOT!

All in all, I had a wonderful day and I'm sad to see this one go. But tomorrow awaits... fuck it's so late.

Excuse me while I have a little ego juice...

Tonight was AWESOME.
Nevermind... TODAY was awesome.

Check up here later boys. I've got some earrings to make.

For only 34 cents a day...

I went out today for approx. an hour, looking to get sponsored. A couple seemed interested, but that may be only because they couldn't speak a word of English. Tomorrow, I'll try again, perhaps earlier in the day? God I'm lazy, can someone please slap me with a caffeine stick?

I'll have one of these...

Is it possible to obsess over the smell of your hair? Today, if I could have chosen, I would have wanted to be uncle IT.

I've been underproductive. That might not be a word, but to me it's today's motivation. I sat on my ass until 2, had a meeting at 2:30, came back home for 3, called in sick for work and am still sitting on my ass right now. That's crap! I hate these kind of days but you know you need them once in a while. It's not that I'm depressed or need to be alone... I just need to think things through and make sure I start off new come September. I am a much better person than what this past month has made me seem like.

I quit my job this past week, making this week my last one there ( the rumour palace). I got rid of every shift possible. This might seem like a "run away" plan but it's got more strategy to it than that. Let me explain what has happened since episode 1...

It has made me feel like I'm being played with, in more than just the litteral sense. I hosted a party this past Friday and invited whomever wanted to come. It was a wonderful, small turn out, but some guests should have stayed home. Shall I refresh your memory with guys A & B? Apparently on a count of "how bad I wanted him", guy (B) made an appearance.  I was having an awesome time with some non-work related friends when he walked through my door. At this point, I was excited to see what was on the other side of the fence (thinking guy (A) and I were completely over...) I proceeded to give guy (B)  a tour of my place. I inevitably stopped by Sarah and I's joke of a "makeout room", formerly my roomates. Guy (B) took this opportunity to close the door to "7 minutes in heaven" and kiss me. I was in shock. We started talking about the attraction that was obviously still there between us.. and kissed some more. It felt great, passionate and I wanted more.

Now there was another guest of mine who's intentions, I'm sure, were obvious from the start. She kept on telling me how much of a player and desperate for sex guy (B) was. With her "much love" for him, I felt like I should back off... there was something there I didn't want to mess with. I'm not the kind of friend who plays with another friends' garbage. "There is nothing between us"... yeah, right- you just don't want me moving in on "your" guy. I get it.

Was it bad of me to think, fuck that- I still want to have relations with this guy? No, I don't think so. But more and more throughout the night, she kept discouraging me and putting him up on a pedistle when it came to their relationship... so I came to the conclusion that I would indeed, back off. I'm still attracted to this guy, I just need to draw the line.

I'm getting to the worst part of it now... I was ticked off at guy (A) right? So, when he called to say that he was on his way, I wanted guy (B) to stay...  I called guy (A) back and told him to turn his cab around (let's not forget I was WAY wasted.) And I could tell he was pissed off about my comment... I mean, who wouldn't- I don't think I've ever been THAT mean to anyone, EVER. Well anyways, guy (B) stayed some more, we talked about our numbers we'd soon be dialing and he left thinking we were soon to do the deed. To think of it now, I totally lead him on. GOD that was fun!

The party died down and I was a little confused about the whole situation so the girls and I talked it through... until 4:30 am when guy (A) decided to call. My emotions were all over the place and I appologized about my command profusely... We talked about our supposed 'relationship' , where we stand and it was good.  He didn't even get that mad when I told him everything was because of guy (B)...We talked for maybe 30 minutes, I'm not too sure if he was drunk or not- probably so.

He was even more wasted when he called me at 6:30am, claiming to be at a nearby internet cafe checking his emails... WHO DOES THAT AT 6:30 IN THE MORNING??? PISSED DRUNK!? He stumbled over to my apartment, lay down on my entrance floor, pat Phoebe until she meowed so much it hurt... then called a cab and went home. Now that was fucked up! I've had this on my mind since Friday... I don't know what to make out of it... but I DO know that I don't want to persue anything with either of these guys... too much restaurant drama for me. I'm in need of a much more better guy- whom in turn, will benefit from my sanity also.

So I'm not showing up at work....simply because I am the better person. I will move on and be successful, and this little 'triangle' will not have affected me whatsoever. I will not keep a grudge against anyone, but I will put down my past workplace. People knew more about me, than I did... and that, my friend, is wrong. Rumours hurt, and I've got dreams to fufill.

The episode is over, I hope... and I thank you for listening to it.  I just needed to get this off my chest, once and for all, and down on 'paper' for a possible chapter in the book of my life. I swear I'm going to write one.

I'm currently watching/listening to the Joe Shmoe show... JONOVISION is on it as the "got-to-be-gay" guy... it's hilarious! I've been watching tv since 6pm, like a real reality whore. Trading Spouces, For Love of Money, Oblivious, In a Fix, ... god there's something about a one hour show that keeps you hooked so much, the time flies by so fast! I came across this  commercial for Mars cookie bars, I think it was... it's this little kid who is unwraping the bars and putting them into his lunch box while the wrappers of the treat fall on top of the dog lying on the floor. That was a long sentence... anyways, there is this tiny tiny, fine print at the bottom of the screen that reads " DO NOT FEED CHOCOLATE TO DOGS". I couldn't help but laugh out loud. Children, who will be too young to read, will be the ones doing so... the older ones already know that. I could be wrong, but everyone knows that chocolate can kill an animal.. right?

I must have made 10 new pairs of earrings tonight...I'm bound to sell them sometime this week on the ever-so-busy streets of Toronto. That is if I'm not too busy promotting/selling this show I'm working for... This week, I need to find some sponsors for a one-woman show that I'm helping (thanks Lara) and it all seemed easy, but I think it's going to take alot of work. Ah well, I'm jobless anyhow, so making money might as well occupy my time. I also need to find myself a new job for September... I'm glad I'm going through this faze, I need to "spring clean" my brain out for the upcoming challenges that school will bring. Man I miss it so much.

In the meantime, don't worry about me, I'm still smiling. YAH YAH YAH.

BLOG BLOG BLOG

I have so much to say. So much to sort out. So many days to tell you all about. I feel lost. I feel empty. I need to write.  I need to let out some anger, some thoughts. Here, I know you'll listen. But for now, I must go watch tv, or walk around my apartment. Maybe rent a movie, but mostly entertain. My brain lacks sleep. Patience will lead to the story of my life.

Everyone Loves Marineland.

 
Aww, I just finished watching an old re-run Christmas episode of Home Improvement. The one where Tim puts up a bunch of cool stuff on their roof... AND I was eating Teddy Grahams- talk about old school! I was totally brought up on that show, man... thanks Fern. I just now realized how great it was, you appreciate so little when you're young. Lots happened today, but I'm extremely lazy and sleepy- so I'm going to listen to those feelings and head off to bed. Besides, I fell asleep at 5am yesterday and I'm suffering!

Do your boogers ever look like bugs?

 
I'm saying this cause I just picked my nose.
 
Oh shut up! Everyone does it! This one booger looked like a bug though. I was all like " did I breathe in a fly?" Negative, it's just dust... the taste proved it! KIDDING. I don't digest my art, voyons!
 
So I've been surfing the internet for quite some time now (approx. 2 & 1/2 hours) and all I've been doing is fixing up my endless profiles over the internet. What is my obsession with this? And why do I want all my friends to do the same? To make the internet an adventure... it's the best way to keep in touch with all these people and to find out what's going on in their lives. Hells, I'm too lazy with phone calls lately, so this is my support system. And it's always a booster for the ego when others enjoy you're "lifestyle".
 
I hate talking about work on this thing, but here's a quicky... I didn't talk to guy (A) at all! I pretended like nothing was and he got annoyed at one point and said "Hello" to me in a sarcastic tone. Could that be anymore of a turn off? Don't think so. I'm so disgusted with him right now- I need a rebound.
 
And now, it's time for...
 

 - A MOMENT IN THE SUBWAY STATION-

 
I was all gross and stinky from work waiting at the St George station for my train when all of a sudden, I see this overly happy family run out of the train I just missed. In my semi-angry tone, I let out a "Shit." Thinking all the things I always think when this happens to me like: why didn't I run? Or who decided that the escalator was going to be out of order today? did they ask me to do so? Then, I heard giggles and laughter- a sound that automatically catches my attention. I moved away from the immigrant (respect) to my left and walked towards the happiness... The entire family was then obstructed by the downwards escalator. The dad looked over to the son and said, "I'll race ya". The kid had the biggest smile on his face and infact, so did I upon hearing that. I watched them both race up the escalator. The dad slowly lost... but it warmed my heart to see such joy in a family taking on the small risk of racing up a downwards escalator. Surely there was upset people taking the stairs, but I smiled and laughed along with them as they reached the top. The end.
 
I don't care if you didn't like that story. I did.
 
There is a skunk outside my window. What the HELL do I do? Why is there a skunk in the backyard of my downtown Toronto apartment??? Fucking skunks. Are female skunk, skanks?

Dream a little dream.

I had a fucked up dream this morning, in the midst of several wake-ups. I was on a field trip with people from school (8th grade) and we were on our way to a theme park. We of course, had to be paired up into twos- but were allowed to venture anywhere into the park. I seemed to have lost my partner through my six-year-old excitement and explored on the outskirts of the park all by myself. I ended up on an island where there was this big beach house. In this beach house was an indoor pool with lifeguards. Guy (A) was one of them- AH! Can't I get him out of my head already??... There was this competition going on in the pool with boards, people and waves... some sort of race. One of the competitors spotted me out and asked me to be his partner, I replied that I had never played that sport before- he then took my hand and said "trust me" -just like in Casper! Anyways,  guy (A) spotted me and was like WTF. I don't remember what happened there (would have been useful) but I do remember what happened afterwards. I forgot we had to meet the group back at the park for a certain hour. I ran away and panicked, called the hotel and told them I'd find my own way back. When I got to the hotel, no one was there, so I found out which restaurant they went too, and made my way there- casually late.
 
Now, I woke up after that, but fell back asleep where I went back into that same dream- I love those kinds because you can finish the stories... However, I don't remember what happened in the next one.
 
I don't really need to analyze this one, and doing so just drains the imagination out of dreams. This one seemed so realistic though. Kind of like the kind you need to pinch yourself to believe.
 
Well today's another day. Laundry, cleaning and bills to pay. Ah yes, and that dumb job too.

Gonna hurl...

I just ate egg noddle kraft dinner with hot dogs and a coke.
Let me run to the toilet for a second.
 
PUKE-AGE.
 
Is it sad for me to say that all I wanted to do tonight was come home and blog? Honnestly. I took a poll and 68% (of me) said it wasn't. So I'm "blogging"- a term that I now frequently use.
 
Tonight's shift at work was oddly satisfying. I mentally got rid of guy (A) and I gave in my two-weeks notice. Now when I say mentally "got rid of", I mean that guy (A) is now officially a complete asshole. And I, the far more better person in this, acted like a cold bitch.
 
Scenario:

I confronted him tonight and asked if we could sometime talk for more than 5 minutes... I was simply sick of no communication about things at work and getting random messages in the middle of the night.  He replied that he was "closing", therefore, busy, and didn't want me to "wait" for him. Little did he know, I was done waiting two weeks ago. The look in my face changed automatically, I just had this tremendous amount of self esteem. I guess dating a weird guy before this one made me a little more feisty. And that was that. He technically thinks that I'm still "waiting for him", but next time he calls- I'll have already moved on.... In fact, tomorrow- I'll pretend I don't even know him.
 
He obviously doesn't know who I am.  His loss.  There is nothing wrong with me! I'm the perfect girl any guy would want to date, well I'd like to think so... but us girls never go for the guys who want us, do we?
 
Thanks to guy (A) though, this gals got new material.
 
I almost felt revived once I gave in my resignation...  I'm anxious to be working on that show in August. Job hunt on Tuesday..ugh, for the what? 4th time since I've been in T.O? Yeah... shitty.  
 
"The best things in life are free, but you can give them to the birds and the bees, I want money. That's what I want." 

I'm gazing away from the computer from time to time because the tv is on. I'm too lazy to change the channel (literaly 26 centemeters away) and it's stuck on the Chris Isaak show. Anyone ever seen this? Michelle Branch guest stars in this episode apparently... this show is terrible! Who hired these actors? This has to be Canadian.
 
Alright, that's all the 'complaining' I'm giving to you tonight.
Peace in the middle East. 

It's Peanut Butter Jelly time.

 
Have you seen this crazy banana? 
 
Lots has happened over the weekend, but that dance will sum it up. Such hilarity! Doms has just left back for Ottawa and I'm a little sad, twas fun having her around for a few days... Now I go back to working a stupid job and talking to my cat. I'll update when I get back home from work... but in the meantime, check out peanut butter jelly time!

Weirded out.

Last night was quite the night my friends.
 
I went to see the Humber workshop show over at the AH! hall... Some people were great, and you could really see potential, but others, my god.... as awful as they come. This one lady said, and I quote: "I can't work in the dark here..." when the lights were out for scene changes. I was about to take off my shoe off and throw it at her. The few people that I had met on Monday were there and they seemed to be pretty good. There was this one guy, however.. HAT GUY we called him. He was the most irritating person I've ever met. The kind you ignore because you know he's coming your way with a fucking stupid joke or observation.
 
I'm not assuming this by having watched the show... I'm stating the fact, because he partied with us afterwards.
 
I'll stop talking about him, or else it's going to put me in a bad mood.
 
I need to get to work shortly and once again, it'll be awkward. Guy (A) left me a message last night around midnight. I wasn't home and I was thinking maybe he had had a few drinks. I could only catch bits and pieces of this message and this is what I last remember: "Listen, I'm sorry about the night before, it was like the begining and tonight's intuition, I do want to see you, take care."
 
TAKE CARE? He said it twice... and he sounded sad. What am I supposed to do with this??? I have no clue what the hell he means. And I take "take care" as an offense. To me, it's like saying... see you in a milion years.
 
Arg! Well I guess I'll have to do the same thing I always do. Smile and pretend as if nothing's happened. God damnit. I hate professionalism.
 
Doms is coming over for the weekend! Birthday celebration wooo! I can't wait, she keeps me sane.
 
For now, we part.

ONE HOUR PHOTO.

I just dropped off my film for developpement at my nearby neighbourhood store. The guy knew my name... my first name. And kept repeating it over and over like he was proud to have remembered it. Did I mention he had a dirty stare in his eye? Ew. I have to go pick up my pics in a bit. You know maybe I shouldn't make a big deal out of this, because I do go there often and use that name as the contact that goes along with my phone number.... but still, it's kinda freaky. No one in Toronto remembers your name.

Well it will be my one year in the Annex soon... People should be remebering my name!

On a different note, Phoebe is going insane. It's been "cat hour" since 9am... she's running all over the place and bumping into things. I keep giving her attention yet she never sleeps. Is she plotting an evil plan against me?

Guy (A) never called last night. He's deleted. I don't need a man who puts me into his schedual whenever it's convienient for HIM. I need to date someone more like me. A comedian. I keep saying I shouldn't go for someone in my field, but I know I will.

Hmmmm, I did spot a couple of young humber-goer freshmen ;-)

I'll be out most of the day today running errands and trying to find me a new job for the fall. There's no way I'm staying at that place any longer. I feel like my braincells are diminishing by the seconds.

Might I mention that I love today's weather? If the summer could have 20 degree days with some sunshine, I'd be a happy chubby chick.

Toodles for now.

Eye Shadow Explosion!

Don't you just hate it when makeup decides to be a bitch and splatter all over the belongings in your purse?! I KNOW!

The past few days have been odd, cool, but odd.

On Monday I lazied around all day until I had to work the box office at The Second City (which was AWESOME!) Lots of important and soon to be important people were there. The show was amazing... I mean to have Nikki Payne open and Guilson Lubin close, WOW. In between you had Debra Di-Giovanni, Jason Rouse (so hot right now!) Marty, Ajay, Levi... all these great performers who just so happen to have graduated from the program I'm taking. Makes me really want to go back to school. The place was packed! It made me so proud to see that Humber was celebrating it's 5th year of Comedy teachings...yet sad to see that the one man who really gave it meaning wasn't amongst the crowd. Maybe he was vacationing, I don't know... one thing's for sure- it should have been his baby. It's so weird too how you go from a little piece of shit first year, to a lots-of-people-know-you-now second year. All you got to do is get out there and Jason Rouse will call you by your first name ;-). I'm so greatful that everyone in this "field" has been how they are to me. I have not yet encountered a bad apple. I'm sure there's some, I can see it coming (knock on wood), everything is all fine and dandy for me know, but next year is the real test.

I had the chance to meet some of next years' first years too which was fun. The majority of them remind me of "Howie", this guy who once JOKED that he wasn't coming back to school- they're the type of people who don't shut up, they're ON 24/7 and make you want to believe they're funny. ARg I can't stand people like that... if you're funny fine, you're funny... but let me find that out for myself thanks. Or else it just gets repetitive and annoying - that's not the reputation you want. From the workshop kids, I did meet this one individual who was quite attractive and from Edmonton (I'm the worst with names though). He was thinking about joining the program next year and asked me a bunch of worrysome questions. I answered them honnestly and we started having a very intellectual conversation (BONER!)... we'll meet again one day I'm sure. During the show, I sat beside this other kid who claims to be a perfume dealer in Ottawa. He apparently loved the smell of my perfume, which is odd because everyone else hates it... He made me kiss his hand when we parted, then proceeded to kiss mine. We connected and I'll be seeing their show tomorrow night.

Yesterday I spent 3 hours waiting to see a stupid family doctor to renew my prescription. God there are soooo many people in this city, it takes forever when it comes to waiting in lines. I, ofcourse, was impatient and told them to call me when they were ready. Ha! They called just in time when I had to leave for work though.

Working was the odd part. It was just so "yuk" to be back. The idea of pointing people to where the washroom is for a living seems pathetic to me. No wait, I have more responsibility that than- I show them to their tables too! I was hoping to see guy (A) at work but settled for guy (B) who was rather friendly upon my arrival. I'm not too sure if it's a lost cause between us two anymore... we always play with words and use the I'm-too-cool-for-you look whenever we're within a few meters of each other. But I would of much rather seen guy (A) whom I happily spoke to yesterday as well. He said the reason behind his message was because he was "thinking of me" HA! Booyah, I'm on his mind.

The weird part was I woke up around 4 am to this CRAZY thunder storm. I made my way to the washroom and looked over at the phone where I had yet another message. I never heard the phone ring. Sure enough, it was guy (A) in a drunken-state calling me John and asking me to "fucken party"... at 4 am? I was a little scared, and thinking about it now, it's making me want to reconsider the plans we have together tonight. And how can you not know my answering machine message? Even if you're drunk as hell, it's the most annoying thing in the world.

It's kind of funny though. I'm going to laugh at him for it.

Today is another lazy day, but hey... I woke up at 11! I'm currently clean and listening to "the 80s lunch" on chum fm. It's weird, when I was 16 I fucking hated those things because I could never listen to "good" music during lunch. But now, I'm loving it! Madonna was the queen of the 80s. She just so happens to be coming to T.O next week. CRAZY.

Today's goal : put up some curtains.

Home Sweet Pineapple!

I'm back in the Toronto dot and boy oh boy did I ever miss my cat Phoebe.
I literally ran inside screaming her name. "MOMMY'S HOME" I kept repeating.. it's funny how much animals depend on humans, but it's hilarious when a human like me, depends so much on an animal. Especially when I'm gearing up for two months alone. Phoebe will get so annoyed- she'll be like meow meow meow "get a life".

My last night in Ottawa was tasteless.

It was great because I got to see a few people I hadn't, but blah because they're weren't that much fun. Would of been nice to also see a certain individual, but something on my mind kept holding me back. Could it be guy (A)? Because when I checked my messages yesterday, he left one. My frown turned upside down ;-)...

Well, we'll see what happens this week, I'll be seeing tons of him at work because I'M WORKING EVERY DAY!. Ugh, that I knew was going to happen because we're so little hostesses... but I'll be quitting very shortly and I'll feel horrible- I've gotten attached to the people already.

Wonderland called me again- apparently there's a position that will be suiting my needs opening and they need me to fill it. That's what I'm talking about. Run after me you desperate suckers. I hope it won't be like a-we-need-you-now job... cause I will take it and that will mean that I have to quit my current job without a two weeks notice. Then, they'll be fucked.

Tomorrow night is the Humber Alumni show at the Second City Mainstage... sorta like a 'best of' sketch show... They called me to work the box office. AWESOME. Hopefully I'll run into Colin Mochrie again and ask him to resign my Spongebob binder...it is kinda smudged.

Well, I'm off to sleep in my wonderful bed.

OH- don't mind the random poems ... I'm feeling creative these days and they make no sense. But enjoy anyways!

Train 49

Goodbye Ottawa, until next time.
Toronto calls.
First stop Fallowfield,
Second Smith Falls.

Headphones -check,pillow -check.
Ready to rock on.
Third stop Brockville,
Fourth Kingston.

Almost nightime, quiet and still.
Already missing 'ma & 'pa.
Fifth stop Belleville,
Sixth Oshawa.

GUILDWOOD? Where the HELL is GUILDWOOD.
Why did we stop? Oh- I see. To let the awkwardly straight man on
with his matching Louis Vuitton bags.
What a queer.
Guildwood is for fags I guess. (no offense)

Represent.
Hello Toronto, let's play.

San Diego: In German it means a whales vagina.

THE ANCHORMAN: THE LEGEND OF RON BURGUNDY has got to be THE most amazing movie I've seen so far. Now I know I had a high rating for Dodgeball, but knock that off and give an even higher one for The Anchorman. Man O Man what a fucking hilarious flick. I crown it king of one liners. In second place after Austin Powers, of course. I ain't no movie buff, nor do I have a wide range choice of selection (either comedy, cartoon or romance for me my friends)but I do know that that script has got a hell of a lot of improv in it. Movies like that make me so proud. It's kinda neat too cause all these great comedians are in it as well : Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, Christina Applegate... tons more too. The guy from the Daily show plays Brick (FUNNIEST THING ON EARTH). You just have to go check it out, it's on my recommendation list. It's odd, I've been here for 9 days and I've already seen 3 movies, same theatre with a nice bowl of popcorn- now that's entertainement!

I finished camp today and hardly said goodbye to anyone. I was in this weird state of mind - I was a little ticked off with this one mother. She wouldn't even talk to me, not even about the progress her daughter was doing. I did so much for this little sweetheart, and I'm not looking for great recognition, just a little respect, that's all. Some parents have no idea how much work goes into organizing a week with their kids plus a dozen more. That's what gets to me. I won't be a mom like that I know- I'll be that crazy type that makes cupcakes for all the counsellors.

I've got tomorrow and Sunday day left here in the Otown... I actually miss Toronto, mostly Phoebe though and my bed, my stuff, my rules, my curfiews. It's been a challenge here, let me tell you.

I best be catching some shut eye, Garage sale hunting with my mom in the AM. Can't wait until tomorrow, I've been wanting to see someone for quite a long time now.

Goodnight friends!
:P

It's over.

Don't look back on the days you knew were coming.
Don't look back on the times you're going to miss.
Don't look back on the songs in the bus we were singing
Or the smiles and the laughs that we've shared through it all.

If you look back, the wonders will disappear.
You'll want to pinch yourself.
But for now this is what you ordered.
Another familiar memory out the door.

Don't look back on the friends and angels you've met.
Don't look back on the difference you've made in some lives.
Don't look back on the crafts, outings and quirks.
This is part of your life, and always will be...
That one step closer to your dream.

Whatever you do,
Don't cry,
Don't weap,
Don't regret,
But most certainly...
DON'T LOOK BACK


-Bottine 2004


I originally sang this outloud on my way home tonight from my last day at camp. It's in a weird form of song- who knows, maybe one day I'll write some music for it.

On a magic carpet ride...

What I'm thinking: You know, fireworks aren't so bad...

What I'm wearing: Snowman pj's

What I'm listening to: The ceiling fan

What I should be doing: Sleeping.

What I'm eating: Hand-picked (today) strawberries and cool whip "the ultra low fat kind" apparently...

My mom is about to come and check up on me, like she usually does before she goes to bed... I should be in bed too and that's precisely what she's going to come tell me. Oh the wonders of being back home. I just got a key today, finally. I was tired of being locked out of my house for the crazy Orleans men to find. I swear, this little town has got some high-crime weirdos out there... it's the perfect town - so we think and thinking that makes me want to shit my pants. I'm more scared here than I am in Toronto. How is that possible? Beats me.

I just got in from Yuk Yuk's a while ago, did set #2 here in my home town of Ottawa. We got the treat of having Tracy MacDonald do a few minutes- she's so great. Apparently I ressemble her, enough so that I'll be her in approximetly 5 years they say... quite the compliment. My V.I.P friends showed up for some support, thanks guys and I just couldn't be happier now... I was in a shitty mood, and that's exactly what I needed- some stage time. It's so weird how much energy and karma came out of me when I did my routine...it just made all the bobos go away. Some kind of wonderful drug comedy is.

Camp is going so well, I, of course, am falling in love with all my children. It'll be hard for me to let them go on Friday, we've shared some special times together... hahaha, god that sounds so pathetic. But no, honnestly folks, I get attached too god damn easily. Claire came to visit me yesterday and I was so touched. Claire is my angel, we were destined to meet each other au Camp Mifo... and we will forever be friends. Yes, I'm good friends with an 8 year old- sue me.

We went to the farm today to pick some strawberries and tomorrow we're off to Mont Cascades! WATER SLIDES!!!! WOOOO.

Went to see Farenheit 9/11 last night. Laughed, cried, cringed... excellent movie!

Apart from that, I'm enjoying my stay in Ottawa- it has been pleasant so far... Yet, there's another weekend awaiting me. Oh the fun never stops.

NSPN 8- "The Ocho"

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Episode 2: non-happening.

Mmmm applesauce.

Alright, so here's what happened. I saw guy (B) tonight at work and got the usual wink "hey doll-face" look from him... I was playful too, being flirty and smart- I think he enjoyed it. Of course I like to go for the clingy, dumb blonde technique ;-) If all was to go according to plan, we were to go out for some drinks after our shifts, but apparently he would rather turn me down ( to refresh my memory of what I earlier did to him ) good play boy, I say, good play. But your loss, I'm leaving tomorrow (today) for Ottawa. Now what is even more stressful is that guy (A) was VERY flirty tonight and I'd go back to him in a flash because all we got was a taste of each other. If he gets the entire plate, I'm sure he'll be hooked. I went by as if nothing were for the past few days (with guy A)and I think it drives him nuts. I like that, we've always had some sort of weird attraction to one another not giving a shit, it drives me nuts too! It just seems so on and off with him, I don't know what will happen, but something tells me I might just spend a few more nights with him. ;-)

I'm currently watching re-run episodes of For Better Or For Worse on TLC, it's 1:33 in the morning and I'm all packed and ready to go tomorrow morning. I just have to get up a little extra early to make sure Phoebe will be alright. Thank god Kat will be coming over to kitty-sit.

I spent over and hour tonight talking to technical support people (Rogers and Linksys)... my internet connection kept booting me offline. What I don't understand is why companies, like those... chose to hire immigrants to answer their phone lines. I'm not racist- I just have a hard time processing what the hell it is they're trying to say. Something like turn your computer off sounded like "Turnde yeeeoooor cumpooter oof". WHAT DID YOU SAY? I really got upset at one point, I made the poor guy spell his words out. I'm such a bad person-pfff. I had no patience.

I'm off to dream some weird ass dreams and then to Ottawa in less than 12 hours, I will try to update ASAP, if not, stay tuned until next Monday (12th) and don't miss me too much.