Comfortably numb.

I know this town ain't good for me,
Because the people here walk differently.

HONEY, I'M HOME!

And boy was I wrong into thinking things were going to be great. Probably the worst Christmas of all time (or at least in my top 3). Excluding gifts, it was a sad site to see and I was embarassed to be a part of it. The 'it' is what I call family.

I don't know if I'm too grown up, or if I've changed completely- but I don't see myself here anymore. This is not my home, and it wasn't long before I moved to Toronto. I was eager to leave the nest, and now I couldn't be any better. I just came home thinking that these three weeks were going to be filled with happiness and good times. I mean, sure there were a few, but I'm disapointed in myself for assuming otherwise. And it's come to the point where I want to return home prior to the planned date. I've become so particular with my way of life, the people I want to be surrounded by, the shops I go to, the foods I want to eat and the things I want to do... I've learned that I can only handle Ottawa in small doses.

Is that wrong?
Am I betraying my family by disliking what they've always done?
Am I being selfish into thinking I want to go back 'home', when in fact I AM HOME?

Right now, the pace has changed though and I'm feeling more relaxed. I have been welcomed incredibly by everyone I have run into lately. It's a great feeling to hear people notice a change in you. And it feels even better when you're proud of that change.

Despite the angry poems and songs,I've attempted hang out with this new guy. This one thinks I ressemble Ashley Simpson. I wonder what kind of baggage comes with that... I mean, I often get a cross between Drew Barrymore and Rosie O'Donnell... but never Ashley Simpson- I guess that change is paying off. So we'll see what happens with this one, nothing much I predict. Distance sucks.

As for other news in OTown... movies movies movies, that's all there is to do! I've seen Lemony Snikets, Ocean's 12 and Life of Aquatic in a week and a half! I missed the internet like it was life-support. Now it's almost 4 am and I still can't sleep, there's so much going on in my mind- even when my life is on pause.

To those of you who read this and to whom I haven't wished a Merry Christmas yet... MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU. I hope you all got what you wanted from Santa and I wish you health and prosperity for the New Year.

Cheers to good times my friends.