Sad face.

In your lifetime you meet all kinds of people. Some will affect you in more ways than others. Some will come and go, and some will remain on your one-hand count of best friends to keep.

I have never 'lived' this much. Everything to me now is beyond real. I reside in the city of Toronto, downtown... I live with my best-friend(s). I absolutely adore the state of mind that I'm in. I love what has now become home to me. My friends are all here, my life is on the right track. Things are looking up in a sense that my dreams are slowly coming true.

Although I have been distracted for the past few months with a new acquaintance, my head is still up high and nothing will get in the way of my success.

I spent so much time trying to figure out what I really wanted. When, truthfully, the entire time... what I wanted wasn't there at all. I feel sad inside because I put a lot of effort into showing who I was, and I was unable to break down the wall. I feel defeated, like I lost something, someone as real as life can get. I got lost into thinking that I could help and recieve happiness... but once again- it's just another guys' loss. I am too much of a great person to go through any kind of pain like this. And I'm far too strong to let myself get affected by it.

Everyone wants to be held and told that everything will be okay. I guess that's where I have a problem. I just want to be loved.

Normally, I try and try until I get what I want. But in this case, at this point, I am restless and unreachable. I've gone from hot to cold in mere seconds. I wish I knew how to handle it better. I don't want to lose a friend, but maybe that's what will need to happen in order for me to move on.

The words like TIME and PATIENCE lose their meaning. How quickly things can be forgotten, words can be taken back and feelings misplaced.

I'm stronger than any other woman without a man, I have this sort of power and self confidence that makes me feel like I will survive.

In the meantime, I still believe the hype that (It was his loss) and that (someday I'll find the man of my dreams).

Someday... just not right now. Oh god. I'm having to much fun to get lost again.