Facts of fear.

3 clinic visits
3 hospital 'emergency room' visits
18 hours waiting
8 nurses
5 doctors
5 hospital beds
8 blood samples
4 needles that didn't catch a vein
9 bruises
4 E.C.G's (electro cardio-grams)
7 blood pressure tests
5 heart rate monitors
2 urine samples
1 throat swab
1 deidimer test
1 CT scan of the thorax
1 ink injection for the veins
1 chest x-ray
1 leg ultrasound
101 dollars worth of medication.


I have never been this scared in my entire life. Three nights ago I was experiencing a pain in my abdominal region... it got more and more painful on Sunday evening so I went to get it checked out at the emergency because all other clinics were closed.

The hospital doesn't let you leave until you're completely checked out. And let me tell you that I take my hat off to all the nurses and doctors I've seen in the past 72 hours. I arrived there alone and started to worry the moment I stepped into that waiting room. It took forever to see someone about my little pain while I watched people rush in through stretchers far worse off then me. Did you know that OHIP now pays $350 per visit to the emergency room???

So what happened was they took all kinds of tests, thinking that I had a pulmonary embolism which is a blood clot on the lung. Turns out I don't have one, but I do have a high heart rate, blood pressure and white blood cell count. This all means that I could have a viral infection ( strep throat / mono...) I get the results tomorrow morning... I'm still a little nervous, but I'm happy it's no blood clot. A viral infection- I'll take anyday.

I have to say that I've prayed and I've talked myself through it and I appreciate everyone's given support, especially mommy. The worst feeling is being alone at the hospital without your mom telling you to 'calm down'. I'm a worry wart and I've got to stop. And I will.

There will be major changes in my lifestyle because of this scare.... I know the hospital wants to be absolutely sure about everything, but I went through emotional hell with all those tests. Way to make my fears reality. I hate hospitals... or should I say hated? I've gotten a little more accustomed to things... I kept asking about all the machinery and tests. Today the doctors were like "how do you know all this?"... hehe, I felt smart for a little bit. I talk when I'm nervous and heck, I exchanged some weird conversations with some of the sickest people there. We're all in those cubicals to get better. Health is so important and I kick myself now for lacking there of.

I will never again take this for granted, it's a serious issue that we should all take into our hands... regular check ups and yearly examinations. They're scary I know, but take it from the most nervous person and do it. It's such a priviledge to be living in such a wonderful world, surrounded by all who love you.

Sorry to have gotten all 'emotional' on your ass. Hehe, I'm back to my better self, I think... or I'm in the process of healing. I feel much better and must get to bed to head to work in the morning.

Apart from that stir fry, I'm having a great time. I can't wait until things get back to normal.

I love you. Thank you for listening.